Of hypocrisy and Fugger Boff
by Moonstone
Summary: The one thing Lily Evans despised was hyocrisy. She even had her own set of rules and code of conduct! But all it seems to take to send that out of the window is a bit of alcohol and James Potter and it all buggers off...or 'Fugger Boffs? Twoshot
1. Chapter 1

The one thing Lily Evans hated was hypocrisy – among other things.

She had decided that a long time ago, when her English teacher had made her re-spell a word continuously until she got it right. Only to discover that the English teacher herself, being a complete hypocrite, couldn't spell the word to save her life!

From then on she began her righteous and prestigious campaign against hypocrisy, hoping to stamp it out of civilization forever.

That was until the previous night.

That night, Lily had, with the help of excess alcohol, let it in.

Alcohol: The first step.

Yes…Lily Evans had consumed a dangerously excess amount of alcohol.

The world was going to bloody end!

The amount of detentions she had given because of excess drinking was uncountable. Yet there she was last night, toppling and giggling and goodness knows what else, pissed as Sirius Black after a Quidditch game.

After that, everything followed suit.

That night had let the dreaded hypocrisy in.

She had said things and did horrible things. She had contravened every rule she had ever made up. Not only had she said and done them after the first step of alcohol, but she had realized that she actually believed and felt every word she'd said and quite enjoyed everything she had done.

That just made her the biggest hypocrite in the entire history because she had been hypocritically denying all the hypocritical thoughts that have been running through her head.

_Wait...What?_

She must have used 'hypocrite' about fifty times in about 20 seconds.

Now, not only was she extremely and royally pissed off, but also extremely and royally confused-and all of this in the middle of a heat wave in May.

Groaning she opened a button in her shirt, still trying to figure out how to stamp out her brain.

Stupid brain! She had cherished it at one point.

But when it starts to do whatever the hell it wants-now that's just unacceptable.

It didn't seem to want to concentrate on anything important like solving this hypocrisy problem. No! It's focused all on one 'thing'.

How this 'thing' has managed to be the bane of her existence after seven years even after all she confessed last night she would never understand.

She pushed a first year roughly out of the way, ignoring the little innocent bleats of protest.

Another mark in the hypocrite column.

Wasn't she supposed to be starting a faction to protect first years?

_Well he shouldn't have been standing there in the first place. If __my__ head wasn't spinning so much he'd be in detention!_

"Bloody, ruddy, stupid..."

Her stream of curses however, were disrupted when she crashed promptly and squarely into a solid form and fell, with an almighty, completely ungracious thud on to the floor – her arse as her landing point.

Growling to nothing in particular, she looked up to the perpetrator, her eyes flaming, readying herself to scream at a pillar or pole or an idiotic person – all three, in her mind, being exactly the same thing.

But the moment the image in front of her eyes was processed by her brain, it was like someone had dropped a bucket full of water on her head. For not only did the flame in her flaming eyes diminish, but she felt her whole body sag until she was sure she looked like an old old old old woman in oversized clothes.

There, standing in front of her, adjusting his glasses as he looked concernedly at her was none other than bloody James ruddy Potter – the 'thing' around which her mind had focused all on.

"Lily," he greeted cheerfully, offering her his hand and smiling at her, with something more than normal in his smile, "are you ok?"

She scrambled up quickly in the most unladylike manner possible, ignoring his hand and grabbing her bag in the process.

"Just peachy," she said, in what appeared to be a squeak.

What the hell was happening was happening to her? She did not squeak! She does not squeak! NEVER!

And definitely not in the presence of James Potter!

She bloody made him squeak!

"Um...Lily?" his voice pulled her from her 'squeak debate', "Is there a reason you're trying to burn a hole into my right shoe with your glare?"

And surely enough, after surveying her position, she deciphered that she did indeed look like she was trying to melt the shoe of off James's foot.

"Yes," she stated in a vain attempt to cover up, "yes there is."

He raised his eyebrow at her, amusedly.

But before he could open his mouth to ask, she cut in.

"And it's a secret reason. Which you need to know nothing about," she said, trying to sound authoritative as she huffed in a very ugly prissy manner, trying to hide the redness in her cheeks at her realization of the stupidity of her comment.

His eyebrow goes even higher, "like a secret mission?"

She turned and narrowed her eyes at him "do I look stupid to you James?"

He shrugged and smiled, making her weak in the knees and ready to run into the quidditch pitch and throw her off a flying broom.

Letting his smile affect her knees in any way am in full violation of her anti-hypocrisy rule.

"Well you were trying to kill her shoe because of some secret reason," he stated, "so I don't know. Maybe my shoe was evil to you or something."

She huffed and tossed a strand of her hair behind her, opening another button on her shirt- finding it too hot to bother with why he clenched his jaw and suddenly looked at her like she was Christmas Dinner come early.

"Firstly James," she stated in a very prim, stern and challenging voice, narrowing her eyes further in that very scary Lily Evans way that made people crumble to dust at her feet.

"Your shoe was never alive. So I couldn't have been trying to kill it. And secondly, you have no idea what the secret is. So how can you assume what the secret is and what it's about?"

"Whoa!" James retreated, his hands up in mock surrender, "down Tiger down!"

He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at her reddened and frowning reaction at his nickname.

She had always said she hated that name. But now...for some reason unbeknownst to her...it was not only cute, but kind of a turn on!

_WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?_

_I have decided I need psychiatric help. Because I, Lily Evans do not get turned on when James Potter calls me 'Tiger'!_

_Do I make myself clear?_

_Note to self: psychiatric help for talking to oneself._

Stepping closer to her grinning still, he handed her a piece of paper.

"What's this?" she asked, not looking at it – due to her retarded inability to tear her eyes away from his gorgeous grin.

"The Prefect Patrol timetable," he says proudly, "I finished it last night, before you...uh...came in."

Desperately ignoring his stutter, knowing full well the reason for it, she nodded and stuffed the paper in her bag.

_I'll die if brings up what an idiot I was last night._

"We're um...together..." he said again, watching as she fiddled aimlessly with the straps of her bag.

She looked up at him abruptly, being the stupid person she was.

"Yeah," he continued, seeming pleased with her reaction, "I changed a few things this morning."

He took another step closer, making her blood pressure surge as he fixed her with a stare that made her feel very bare and naked.

Groaning inwardly, she looked away.

_Why did it have to be today that he's seeing me naked?_

She definitely did not want him to see her naked, seeing as she had an extremely embarrassing rash on her arse and was not wearing a very attractive bra or a pair of knickers this morning.

_Note to self: Remember that people cannot undress with their eyes in reality. It's just a figure of speech._

"Great," she said in a high voice and looked away, "glad that's all fixed then."

And with that rather uncomfortable note, she skittered around him, desperate to get to the end of the corridor – into freedom.

But he wouldn't have that.

Grabbed her arm gently, he brought her back to face him.

"Wait," he said, grinning his lopsided grin, as he steadied her in front of him, still not removing his hand from her arm.

Her stomach just lurched very uncomfortably.

He pulled her a step towards him and smiled that same smile that made her melt and suicidal at the same time.

"Hi Lily," he said in a soft soothing voice.

Unable to look away she mentally slapped herself a million times to stop herself from closing her eyes and leaning in and just listening to his voice and smelling his scent.

_He just smells so good!_

No! That was the satanic evil leader of all hypocrites attacking her mind! He didn't smell good!

Her physical senses ignored her commanding mind and continued to drive her nerves into frenzy.

_Note to self: There is no satanic evil leader of all hypocrites._

She gulped and tried to look passively confused.

"Um...hello..."

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked me, smiling at her devilishly, taking another step towards her.

"Um...fine..."

He nodded and, still smiling he let his hand drop from her arm to her hand and entangles his fingers in hers while he took yet another step forward, till he was merely centimetres away from her.

_Why does that feel so good?_

"Good," he all but whispered and she couldn't agree more.

Whether or not the rest of the world had actually faded or not, she wasn't sure, but the sounds of bustling students around her seemed to have dissipated and all she could hear was the blood rushing into her ears and his gentle breathing against her skin.

She felt like those times when a million feathers were falling on her skin after a massive pillow fight with Mary.

It was like time had stopped and she closed her eyes as she just tumbled down into a soft smooth surface of pure bliss.

_I think I'm going insane._

His eyes were gentle yet sparkling with something that made her heart do stupid things like trying to jump straight out of her mouth.

_Why couldn't I have a tame heart? Of all things!_

His scent was almost lulling her into a gentle sleep, but she could feel it send a fire licking all the way up her body, making her breathe heavily –as if she'd run around the quidditch pitch a hundred times.

He took her other hand in his free hand, letting it drop till he held on gently to her finger, a warm, small and subtle yet desiring smile playing across his amazing, soft, smooth, warm, sweet lips – if only she could lean in a bit more and...

_STOP! His lips are none of those things. And regardless of last night, I have no idea what his lips are like._

He was looking straight into her eyes, making her brain fizz into the fluff that was usually found under her bed.

She couldn't think straight.

Of all the things! Lily Evans couldn't think! What was happening to the world?

She let out a small breath she didn't know she had been holding as his smile shrunk to just an upturn at one corner of his mouth and he leaned close enough for their noses to touch.

She found herself in complete lack of reasons not to just give in as everything around her started to dissolve into a nothingness that was just them.

She could just...

The dissolving surroundings however seemed to stop at a point, as if barred at this particular spot.

And then she saw it. The spot focused and she saw a giggling **human** form turn and run down the corridor.

_Oh my God! Someone just saw us! Now everyone's going to know I'm a hypocrite._

How could she let him do this? Apart from the fact it being absolutely fantastic, she was breaking hundreds of millions of the non-existent rules in her non-existent anti-hypocrisy set of laws. She was creating double standards for herself.

She had promised that she would never become like one of his blonde, big-busted fan-club bimbos, and she wasn't going to let him do it!

_He's coming in closer. Oh god! Think brain think! _

_No...NOT about him or making out!_

She had several options:

1) Run

2) Grab him and snog him till his lips turn blue

3) Run

4) Make out and not care

5) Pretend to have forgotten about last night completely and make him the fool

6) Snog him and then run

7) Run

_Damn I wish I could choose all of them!_

Hastily she jerked back, hurting her neck in the process and fixed him with a sudden look of confusion, causing him to stop a couple of millimetres before her lips.

"James," she said, trying to sound vaguely curious but very surprised at the same time.

"Yeah?" he whispers, making her spine shiver as he appeared to be undaunted.

_Ignore the sexiness. Ignore the sexiness._

"Wh...What..." she stuttered, trying to pry her eyes away from his lips, "what are you doing?"

That worked like a charm.

He looked away from her lips and up at her immediately after she'd spoken, as if she'd just sprouted four flobberworms on the top of her head.

"Huh?" he asks dumbly after a while.

"What are you doing?" she repeated, more strongly and resenting herself every step of the way, "with the close thing and the hand thing and the...thing..."

_Way to go Lily! What confidence your words behold!_

He retracted his hands from hers and stumbled back a step.

"Um...well..."

Now this was more like it. She was the one supposed to be making James Potter stutter. Not the other way around.

"Lily?" he asks in a strangled voice.

She was torturing the poor boy.

"Mm?"

"Do...don't you remember..." he stutters again.

"Remember what?" she asked, making her tone sounding slightly impatient.

"Last night..." he says, nervously.

She nodded her head purposefully "yeah...why?"

He opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish for a few seconds.

"James, why are you acting like a fish?"

"Just...just...tell me what you remember?"

She raised her eyebrow in hope to cover up her cheeks.

"I went to Mary's birthday party and came back to our Common Room and went to bed," she stated in an 'isn't-that-obvious-like –duh!' tone.

Shaking his head and looking absolutely perplexed, his hand raised, he didn't respond, somehow gob smacked.

"You don't remember anything else?"

_Wow is he flustered!_

She grinned inwardly at the pleasure she was experiencing – making James Potter flustered.

"No," she said, as if talking to a wee baby, "no, James."

"No...Being drunk or...nothing?" he asked, obviously reverting to his old incapability of forming a sentence.

She widened her eyes in an attempt to look astounded.

"Drunk?" she gasped dramatically, reminding herself of a Marlene Monroe movie.

"How could you suggest such a thing? I was not drunk. I was just...a bit happy!"

His shoulders sagged and he closed his eyes.

"That's because you don't remember," he grumbled.

She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms.

"Well remind me Mr. Potter," she said sarcastically.

"You seriously don't remember the things you said...or the falling over...or the being carried to your room...or the kiss...or the Fugger boff?"

She stared at him for a few seconds and desperately tried to keep the blood away from her cheeks.

She really had said 'fugger boff' last night then.

Shaking herself mentally she shook her head at him.

"No..." she stated as firmly as she could, frowning at him, "and are you sure _**you**_ weren't drunk?" she hauled her bag on her shoulder and prepare herself to leave, "I only had like two drinks yesterday, of which I do regret! I'm against any underage consumption and I fully admit to being a bit of a hypocrite there. But to say I was hammered enough to not remember a single thing is ridiculous."

She carried on before he could contradict her and bring out the truth.

"And I really can't imagine myself falling over and saying Fugger boff."

"But...but..." he stumbled his face all confused, but she was gone, down the corridor, purposefully resisting running back and kissing his adorable face.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me why we're here?"

"Ssssh!"

"Or am I just going to have to pretend I'm intrigued with what you've got to say while I wait here behind this smelly statue of this one-eyed hag?"

"Mary shut up!" Lily hissed again, causing Mary to raise her eyebrow.

"Why are you so hyped anyway? No one's listening because no one is stupid enough to come behind here and listen anyway."

"James comes here," Lily retorted without thinking.

Mary's eyes instantly brightened, and she began to braid the strand of hair in her hand faster.

"Oooh! So it's Potter we're hiding from is it?" she cooed in a whisper, "or should I say Jaaaaaames! Or Jamesy! Or do you prefer Pooh bear?"

"Mary will you please shut your trap for once," Lily snapped, "you opened it enough yesterday."

Mary gasped, "You are evil! And it's not like you didn't get smashed either, Mrs. I'm-Sober-For-Life."

Lily turned to her with narrow eyes and the blonde cowered slightly.

"Are you ever going to let me live that one down? Done enough damage as it is."

"With James?" the blonde prodded, "and no, I'm not."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Do you want to hear what I was going to say?"

Mary looked around her and shook her head.

"Not right now, not particularly, no."

Her redheaded friend's eyebrows shot up for a second before returning to their normal location. With a haughty sniff, Lily folded her arms.

"Fine then," she said huffily, "you can just leave."

Mary laughed, "Ok."

And with that she was gone, braiding her blonde hair without a care in the world.

Lily stared in shock. She was supposed to stay and listen to her to her awful gasp-incurring story and shake her head in shock and give her the best advice that would involve snogging James at any given time and not being a hypocrite.

Growling she ran after her friend, her pride trailing behind her.

"MAAAREEEEEEEE!"

The blonde stopped and turned, a large grin spread across her face.

"Yeees?" she responded, her eyes sparkling, "something I can do for you Lily?"

Lily rolled her eyes and linked her arm in her friend's, dragging her back to their hiding place.

"Yeah, shut up and listen."

* * *

_The night before: Mary's birthday party._

"Whoooooooooooooooooh!" Lily hollered as she stumbled out of the Gryffindor portrait, drunken giggles and all.

"Lileeeeeeeee!" came the slurred voice of Jessica, "come back for an hour...I mean minute."

Giggling uncontrollably and holding her index finger in her mouth like a five year old; Lily leant into the hole and peered at her equally hammered friends.

"You..." came Jessica's voice as she stumbled over, "...are drunk."

Both girls erupted into peals of raucous laughter.

"I'm not!" Lily protested as she grabbed onto the walls for support, "I'm merel...whoa!"

The entire common room broke out into loud meaningless laughter as Lily lost her balance and fell face first back into the common room.

She sat up, red faced and then broke into another fit along with the girls.

"I'm...trunk...brunk...drunk..." she slurred and snorted, "I can't...even...say...even...can't even...say frunk!"

Mary toppled onto the floor in peals of laughter.

"It's 'drunk' you idiot!"

Lily fell forwards from laughter again, nodding at the floor.

"I know!"

And the laughter continued.

"Let's get the bogey man!" came Tara's cry as she was found standing on the coffee table, hand held high.

A few seconds of silence passed as the girls surveyed their drunken friend through their own intoxicated haze of vision and then all fell about laughing again.

Standing up Lily scrambled back to the portrait.

"I have to go!" She called to the corridor, talking to her friends, "I'm already late."

Mary's giggles could be heard approaching.

"You're drunk and you still know if you're late?"

Lily shrugged and set off, promptly walking into the wall.

The Fat Lady tutted, annoyed at being woken up.

"Sorry Mrs. Fatty," Mary giggled as Lily scrambled up, "methinks maybe Lily should get help from lover-boy James instead of going back on her own."

The Fat Lady huffed and turned away, sending the girls into silent giggles.

"Naughty naughty Mary," Lily hissed through her convulsions, "you called the Fat lady 'Fatty'!"

"Naughty naughty Lily," Mary retorted, still shaking with laughter, "you go all kissy for Jamesy!"

Lily frowned, "no...Not Jamesy! For Pames Jotter!"

Mary looked at her, frowning as well, slightly cross-eyed before Lily turned and walked away.

Two minutes later she was found tiptoeing back and across the threshold and in front of the frowning Fat Lady again, having realised she'd gone the wrong way.

She managed to arrive at the Head's Common Room – somehow- and stumbled in, giggling.

"Ooops!" she choked out through her manic sniggers as the door slammed shut behind her and awoke her co-Head who was asleep at the work table.

"Lily?" he asked sleepily as his eyes found her.

Still giggling slightly she put her finger to her lips and hushed him.

"Be quiet," she whispered, her eyes wide with ridiculous sincerity "we might wake you up."

He stared at her for a few seconds.

"Wha...?"

She giggled, making his heart do a familiar summersault as she stumbled down the three stairs.

"Such a nice person like you needs to sleep James," she mumbled as she placed one foot unsteadily in front of the other, "don't worry. I'll make sure everyone shuts up!"

And with that she suddenly clapped her hands loudly, making him jolt into an upright position.

She looked around the room, her mouth slightly open, looking so innocently dumbfounded as she stared at every corner in the room for about two seconds.

Then turning back to him and closing her mouth she nodded, her eyes still wide like a child's.

"I think they're gone now."

He stared at her in utter confusion, "who?"

But she merely let out a girlish giggle that he found adorable, her finger in her mouth before looking away and attempting to prance to her room.

"La la la la," she began humming out of tune, "la la la la la la!"

He watched her staggering and faltering steps before getting up and walking to her.

"Lily?" he called when he was at her side.

She turned to him, her green eyes wide with a childish surprise.

"Jamesy-poo!" she cooed, her now shining with drunken delight, making his jaw drop.

"What did you just call me?"

She merely giggled as she took a step forward and tumbled.

Reflexively he grabbed her and straightened her up.

"Lily, are you drunk?"

She looked at him and attempted a frown, "no...How could you say such a thing, Jotter...I mean...Potter."

"Yes you are," he said laughing at her slightly flushed face, "where's a camera when you need it?"

She burped rather loudly and then shrugged with a frown, "I don't know."

He laughed at her confused frown and rolled his eyes, taking her hand to help her.

"No...No!" She protested a look of concentration on her face, "I don't need any help."

He raised his eyebrow and let go, watching her go. She took four steps successfully before tumbling backwards onto her arse.

He walked over to her and burst out laughing at her look of pure confusion.

"My arse isn't supposed to be on the floor is it?" she asked looking up at him with her head cocked to one side, looking more innocent than a new born, "how am I going to walk if my arse is on the floor?"

He chuckled and shook his head.

"Here," he said and picked her up to a standing position, "let me take you to your bedroom Lily, before you break something."

"No!" she protested again, pushing his hands away, "Fugger boff Potter! I'm on my own."

There was silence for a few second as he pondered her words.

"Fugger boff?"

"Yeah...Fugger boff!"

She giggled and hiccoughed again and he felt the entire room warm pleasantly.

"I don't think so Evans," he said, hiding his mirth as he grabbed her and hauled her over his shoulder, steadying her by her legs.

She hit him twice on his back but then retorted to giggling.

"James Potter is carrying me!" she said joyfully, "James Potter is carrying me."

He chuckled and opened her door.

"Yes he is."

"Why haven't you before?" she asked, still giggling, "I'm really not that heavy am I?"

"No," he laughed and turned on the light, "You wouldn't have let me Evans."

She made an angry face at his arse.

"That's not true," her voice now resembling an adorable child, "I like it. And I like it when you're close to me or when you're hugging me...like that time I was crying because of mum and dad. I liked that a lot because you didn't try to say the correct thing when I was crying. You didn't say anything."

He found himself at a loss for words.

She looked up to the back of his head and directed her words straight at him.

"How did you know not to say anything?"

He stood still and sighed, still in the doorway, not saying a word.

"You didn't jabber on like the rest," she said and returned to his arse, "I liked that. You didn't say anything and got it completely right."

He sighed again, "Well I'm glad I did, Lily," his voice, for some reason, thickening slightly with emotion.

He started towards her bed.

She let out a childish sound of happiness.

"I really liked it all and I really like you," she stated in the most simplest of tones.

James stopped dead by the side of her bed.

"James?" she asked, reverting her attention away from his arse.

"What did you just say?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed against him, "How would I know what I just said? You were the one listening."

His heart-rate slowed and his shoulder's sagged.

She was drunk.

"You're drunk Lily," he stated, more to himself.

She giggled as she felt himself lower her.

"Yes," she said, her arms around his neck while she held her feet off the floor, "and I looooove it," she smiled radiantly at him pulling him closer, "like I'm in loooooooooooove with you."

And as soon as her feet were on the floor, her lips had captured his completely, taking control, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

He didn't respond at first, in shock but before he had time to think she had placed herself right against him and had pulled him down with her onto the bed.

His mind soon clouded and he soon found his hands on her hip and side, his mouth doing things to hers that he had only dreamed of.

She could hear her breathing accelerate with his own as she pulled him closer onto her and raked her fingers through his hair.

He let out short growls of satisfaction that matched her soft small moans and soon one of her hands slipped to his chest while one of his became entrapped in her hair.

After a few blissful moments however she pulled away and looked into his eyes, one corner of her mouth upturned.

She sighed contentedly and giggled, and he could see straight into the green, without any tarnish of intoxication.

"And I loved that like I love you as well," she said softly before removing her arms from around his neck and chuckling as she looked at him.

He smiled slightly and pecked her lips softly before pulling away again and looking at her.

"Now Fugger Boff Potter," she said yawning, making him raise an eyebrow in surprise, "I want to fleep...cleep..."

Without warning she turned onto her side and whacked him square in the nose with her elbow, still muttering.

* * *

Mary stood in silence for a while, just staring at Lily's very red face after the dreadful confession.

"Really?" She asked finally, "Really?"

Lily nodded gravely, "I know..." she mumbled, "...it's awful and..."

But before she could finish her blonde angel of a friend burst out into uncontrollable laughter, much like the night before.

"You snogged Potter!" she said rather loudly through her giggles, "you snogged Potter. And you liked it. After all this time!"

Lily's face went even redder than her hair and opened her mouth but was once again cut off by her friend's comments.

"It's about time Lily! You'd think you were actually not in love with him, the way you were going on. Bloody Hell!"

Lily gasped, aghast.

"I am not..."

Alas, she was cut off again as the bubbly blonde before her began singing, the smile refusing to leave her face.

"There once was a girl called Lily

One night she got drunk and got all...diddly

She got hammered and smashed

Snogged Potter in the...wait...trash

And now they'll be snogging each other silly!"After a few minutes her friend was subdued and faced Lily's narrowed eyes, undauntedly of course.

"Are you quite done?"

"Not quite," came the cheeky reply, "but please carry on."

"We didn't snog in the trash," Lily stated, her arms crossed, "it was on my bed. Just to remind you and..."

"Yeah but I needed a rhyme so..."

"Mary!" Lily scolded, her voice kept surprisingly low, "don't you get it?"

"What?" Mary rolled her eyes in exasperation, "you got a bit drunk and confessed your feelings to the guy you're in love with and got a snog out of it as well. Jeez! If I were that lucky I wouldn't be complaining."

Lily narrowed her eyes.

"You would be that lucky if you would just tell Jack but you won't so it's not..."

"Getting a bit hypocritical are we?Lily's mouth remained open as her cheeks lost colour. Mary raised an eyebrow but soon changed to a shocked expression when Lily's face crumpled as if she were about to cry.

"Lily?"

"That's true, Mary!" she said in a strangled voice, "I'm the biggest hypocrite. I'm a double...no...Quadruple hypocrite."

Mary's mouth hung open, "what?" she shook her head momentarily, "no...Lily I didn't mean..."

"But I did," Lily replied heavily, looking at the floor.

Mary rolled her eyes, "do you know how soap-opera-ish this is right now?"

Lily looked up at her, glaring, "A little help here Mary!"

Mary rolled her eyes, "this day should be recorded. The first day Mary level-headedly treats a psycho over-reacting Lily."

Lily turned away and huffed, only to be turned around forcefully to face Mary – by Mary.

"What is the problem?" she asked, but didn't let Lily even open her mouth, "so you broke a few of your pathetic rules. Everyone does. Especially in circumstances like this."

Lily didn't respond.

"How long did you think you were going to be in denial for?"

"I'm not in denial Mary!" Lily protested, "I'm not in love with James. Whatever made you..."

"You are," Mary cut her off; "you said you said it last night. To him! Before and after you forcefully pulled him into a snog...on your bed!"

Lily opened her mouth but decided against it and scowled.

Mary smiled triumphantly, "So say it out loud Lily," she said coaxingly, "Are you in love with James Michael Potter?"

Lily looked at her with a calculating frown on her face, "I didn't know his middle name was Michael."

Mary narrowed her eyes, "now that we have officially switched roles Evans, I have the authority to tell you to shut up and stop changing the topic and answer the bloody question or I will squeeze it out of you."

Lily grinned evilly at her after a few seconds.

"And seeing as we have officially switched roles Anderson, I have the authority to say that you told me to shut up. So I am."

"Lily!"

"Alright alright."

"Alright what?"

"I, Lily Evans am..."

But she stopped midway when she heard a sound.

She hushed Mary and leaned against the back of the statue and peered intently at the space from which they could exit, listening to what was going on at the other side.

"What?" Mary asked, whispering.

"Ssssssssh."

"But..."

"Mary, I'm trying to concentrate."

The blonde rolled her eyes and returned to her braiding, "I see we've reversed roles again."

But even she had to perk when she heard two familiar voices.

"James...why is it that whenever you mention Lily in a conversation you're either elated or utterly gloomy?"

Lily turned to Mary and put a finger against her lips, "Remus," she whispered, indicating to the voice.

A second voice could be heard.

"Yeah and by gloomy he means chuck yourself off the astronomy tower gloomy."

Mary snorted and Lily hushed.

A downcast sigh could be heard and both girls leaned forward towards the space.

"Because that's just what happens to me, Moony."

Both girls recognised the voice as James's and Lily's cheeks reddened while Mary scowled.

"What happened this time?" Remus asked, slightly tiredly.

"Well," James begun in a sarcastic tone, "apart from the fact that she told me she was in love with me and snogged me on her bed..."

Mary grinned at Lily's tomato cheeks.

"...nothing really."

A collective very un-masculine gasp could be heard at the entrance to the girl's alcove and Lily had to bite her tongue from squeaking in fright as James tumbled backwards in depression, leaning his back against the wall – the statue however, cutting off his face.

_Stupid Statue!_

Mary made eyes at her and returned to eavesdropping.

"Prongs?" Sirius called carefully, as if approaching a psychotic serial killer, "are you feeling alright?"

Lily could just imagine the adorable scowl on James's face at that comment and immediately began to mentally slap herself for her misuse of adjectives.

"Padfoot," James cut in angrily, "I'm not lying. I didn't imagine it. And I didn't dream it either...at least not this time."

Mary raised her eyebrow, unknowingly simultaneously with Remus.

"How do _**you**_know you didn't dream it?"

Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius's silly comment and James groaned.

"I think I'd know what the bloody hell I dream Sirius," he said impatiently, "and anyway. The Lily in my dreams isn't drunk and doesn't say Fugger Boff. She's in a long sexy white dress and it starts raining just as..."

"Ah ah ah," Sirius cut in, "something you forgot to mention Progsey?"

"Apart from his ridiculously filmy fantasies?" Mary added quietly and Lily ignored her.

She watched, slightly mesmerized as he ran his hand embarrassedly through his hair, raring to do it herself.

"Uh...ok..." James stuttered, "...so she was a little drunk...big deal."

He laughed slightly nervously but stopped abruptly – Lily guessed at the expression of his fellow marauders.

Sirius sighed loudly and laughed, causing a visible tinge of pink to rise up James's neck.

"You believed what she said," Sirius said through his chuckles, "even though she was drunk?"

Both Lily and James scowled.

"Yes," James answered stubbornly, "yes I did."

Sirius let out another bark of laughter.

"Ok Prongs," he said, laughing harder with every passing moment, "Let me put to you this way. Lily Evans...you know...THE Lily Evans, who has hated you since the beginning of time was drunk."

Lily still found herself cringing at that thought.

"Issue number one! She was drunk! To how many people is she known to consume even one drop of alcohol? She's such a prissy little caterpillar!"

"What?" Lily hissed the same time as James let a growl of outrage escape his throat.

"She is not a caterpillar!" he said, snarling slightly.

"And just because she abides by the rules and has an ounce of responsibility and maturity and discipline does not mean that she's prissy Sirius," interjected Remus.

"Oh come on Moony!" Sirius disputed, "I know I'm a bit over board but..."

"Compared to you Sirius," Remus cut in, his voice still calm, "even the drunk barman at Hog's Head is prissy. You cannot provide any comparison."

"Yeah," James put in happily, "you're the drunkards drunkard mate. Seriously."

Sirius barked a laugh again.

"You can talk Prongs," he said, mischievous laughter lacing his tone, "you came in completely smashed last week and fell face first into the Gryffindor Common Room fireplace. You were lucky it was out."

James's hand flew to his hair again in embarrassment.

"And then you went stumbling to your Common Room, planning to pick Lily up from her bed and take her on a romantic broomstick ride and make sweet love to her near the moon!"

Lily found a hand around her mouth before she could let out a gasp, scream or any other shocked sound.

The red around James's neck was extremely visible now.

"I did manage to pick her out of bed and get her to the door before I tripped."

Lily scowled. His defence couldn't have been feebler if he tried.

_That had hurt Potter._

"Yeah...she was so wanting you then right? I bet she just gasped "Take me Potter, take me now!"

"Shut it Pads," James mumbled.

"Why gasped?" came a fourth new voice – Peter. A pregnant pause followed and Lily was sure all eyes were rolling.

Sirius laughed, "because my dear inexperienced friend. When girls get turned on they can't really talk all that much anymore. So therefore, through that time of extreme horniness, she would have only been able to gasp. Not talk."

"Is that why men find sex so attractive?" Peter asked, "because it stops women from talking?"

"Probably my mousey friend," Sirius replied, "probably. Though I doubt you'll ever find out."

"How incredibly sexist!" Lily hissed. Mary shushed her up."That's the first almost intelligent thing I've heard you say Peter," Remus said sarcastically, "but aren't we getting off topic?"

"What? James not getting a shag from Lily?" Sirius cut in crudely, "I always thought that was topic of discussion."

"You hardly ever participate in discussion Padfoot. Unless it's to do with boobs, snogging, pranks or sex," James retorted and both girls nodded solemnly at the truthfulness of the comment.

"I really don't see why that would be a problem," Sirius replied, his voice casual and uncaring, "what other conversations do we have?"

James didn't anything for a few minutes.

"Wanker."

Sirius laughed, "like you don't!"

James gasped, aghast, "what?""Oh come on! You can't lie about that!"

"Well I don't do it as much as you then!"

"Yeah so? At least I do it like a normal person – to pictures. Not to an image in my head of..."

"OK!" Remus cut in loudly and Lily found herself thanking him with all her heart, "can we talk about something not idiotic for once?"

"Sirius is here," James said in a mischievous voice, "so no."

"Back to the topic of drunken Lily," Remus continued, ignoring James.

Lily winced.

"I believe you James," Remus proceeded, in a completely serious voice. James stood up straighter.

"What?"

"I believe that that's what happened last night," he stated simply and even Lily's mouth dropped.

Remus actually believed that she would get drunk?

What kind of reputation did she have exactly?

"And?" James prompted.

"Whether she meant it or not I don't know because I haven't seen her this morning at all," Remus answered in a logical voice, "but I think it's possible. Very possible."

"Have you lost your marbles?" Sirius cut in rudely, "Lily Priss Evans, in love with Prongs?"

"Her middle name is Marie, Pads," James said, automatically correcting.

"Whatever. It's complete bollocks! She was drunk. So she said a whole load of codswallop," Sirius retorted, "why you getting his hopes up Moony?"

Remus laughed, "Because I do believe that Lily has taken a liking to James. You can see it in the way she acts."

"HA!" Mary said a little too loudly and all four boys were silent.

"I think Peeves has flew through Mrs. Norris again,' Peter said as wisely as he could.

"It's flown Peter, not flew," James corrected, sounding very fed up.

Lily scowled at her friend before turning back, hoping the conversation wasn't over.

"She hasn't been acting like she has a thing for him at all," Sirius continued, unabashed, "I should know!"

James snorted, "Yeah! Cuz you know everything there is to know about how women act and feel."

"I do."

James rolled his eyes along with everyone else present, "you think any girl would swoon at your feet the moment you say: 'Nice Jugglers!'"

Sirius huffed, "well they do."

"Only because they have an IQ of a stupid brain dead pig!" James retorted, laughing, "You don't know anything about real women Pads."

"What the hell do you mean a real woman? If they have a pair of tits, long hair and no penis, they're a real woman," said Sirius, "what you mean James is, if they're attractive or not. That's a different cause."

Once again all eyes rolled.

"What if they have short hair?" Peter asked innocently, only having just joined the conversation again.

"I give up," said James sounding exasperated, "I'm gonna go back to talking to Remus."

"You are missing out on intelligent conversation," came the huffy reply.

"Thank you James," said Remus, sounding very mature, "As I was saying. Lily has changed this year when it's come to James. She's obviously seen that he's matured and can see the real James instead of that pompous ass he used to be."

James's grew and slumped at his words, "I was a pompous ass wasn't I?"

"Quite," Remus answered quickly before carrying on, "She might be attracted to James or might just want to be good friends. So whether or not she meant what she said...well I don't know."

James sulked against the wall even more, "I hate that woman," he grumbled and all three boys nodded sympathetically.

"Well let's head off," Sirius said after a few moments, "let's see if we can get Snivelly!"

And the boys were off, James lagging slightly behind Sirius.

"Maybe that'll cheer him up," was the last the heard before a silence fell over the empty hallway.

Checking that the coast was clear they crept out from behind the statue.

"Just tell him Lily," Mary pleaded as they both walked up to the Gryffindor Common Room, "please."

Lily rolled her eyes, "there's nothing to tell."

Mary growled, annoyed, "why are you making such a big deal over this hypocrite thing? Everyone's a hypocrite! Stuff your stupid rules!"

Lily remained silent.

"You know what I'm going to do?" Mary continued, now reaching rant volume, "I'm going to find that bloody paper and get rid of it. Then you'll have no rules."

"Mary that's ridiculous."

"Why? Because I'll be ripping up that age old paper that you wrote when you were like two? Or because you'll still be a stubborn prat and follow the rules in your head?"

"Both."

Mary growled and the girls walked back in silence for a while before Lily sighed heavily.

"Mary don't be angry," she pleaded and sidled up to her friend, "I hate myself for it but I have to stick to my principles. Unless it's something utterly life altering I won't change them. You know that. Everyone does. It's how I work."

"But this is life altering," Mary countered, "for everyone. You are in love with James Potter! How more life altering do you want it woman?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "I highly doubt that I'm in love with him. It's just a crush. And to prove it to you, I'll be over this rubbish within a couple of months at the latest."

Mary rolled her eyes and laughed, "Yeah right!"

"I promise you! And you know that a promise is a promise!"

Mary stopped and so did Lily, both girls looking each other in the eye steadily.

Finally Mary nodded, "Fine. But if you don't make it then...then you have to tell Potter why you caused all this commotion."

Lily began to protest but Mary shut her up, an evil glint in her eye that disturbed Lily immensely.

"If you're so confident you're right then you have nothing to worry about."

Lily pondered for a few seconds before nodding, slightly hesitantly, "fine! We have a deal."

Mary nodded in return and then both girls began walking silently again, heads held high – before Mary started to giggle loudly.

"I can't believe you said Fugger Boff!" she said and linked her arm Lily's as a sign of truce, "of all the stupid things you could say, you said something we'll all be talking over Christmas Dinner with our grandkids."

* * *

The Charms classroom was empty when James walked in that night. All students were in the Great Hall eating dinner – that exact thought making James's stomach rumble.

"You're here," came a female voice and Mary stepped out of the shadows, "what took you so long?"

James shrugged, "I was still deciding on whether to pick this or a lovely dinner."

Mary nodded, grinning, "Well I'd better be quick then," she said and perched herself onto a desk.

"Lily's in love with you."

James did nothing.

"James?"

"What?" he said after a few seconds, his voice was slightly hoarse.

"Say something."

"What?"

"What what?" Mary countered, "Say something to what I said!"

"Yeah! I did!" he said, looking at her as if she were from an asylum "what the bloody hell are you on about?"

Mary rolled her eyes, "I knew you were too thick to be Head boy," she muttered and fixed him with a patronizing stare, "Lily," she said slowly, word by word, "is–in–love–with-you!"

She jumped off the table and stood with her arms folded over her chest.

"Do you get it now?"

His mouth slightly open, James shook his head in a slightly dumb manner.

Mary threw her arms into the air and groaned.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed loudly and furiously, "how the hell am I supposed to explain that to you? She's drop dead in love with you! She daydreams about you sometimes and always has to look at you at least four times in every class! She hates it when your prefect rounds are split but is nervous to her toenails when you're together. She's so in love with you that she has to come to the Gryffindor Common Room to complete her homework sometimes because she can't concentrate when you're in the same room as her! In fact, she's so crazy stupid in love with you that she wouldn't mind if you picked her up off the bed when you were smashed and took her for a romantic broom ride and made sweet love to her near the moon, even if you dropped her fifty odd times. She probably bloody fantasizes about it you dolt! What..."

"Wait what?" James interrupted, "where did you hear that?"

"From Lily of course. Who else would she tell that she's in love with..."

"No!" he cut in swiftly and somewhat agitatedly, "about the broom ride."

Mary was immediately silent and James crossed his arms.

"You were eavesdropping on the conversation?" he stated accusingly.

She shrugged and folded her arms in an attempt of proud defiance, "yeah so?"

Rolling his eyes he grinned slightly, "Where were you?"

"Behind the statue."

James nodded in understanding and shook his head, "and you let me guess. You found it exceedingly funny."

Mary nodded enthusiastically, "I found it kind of lame but sort of understandable but Lily was shocked. Though I'm sure after thinking about it she found it very rom..."

"Lily was there?" James squeaked in fear, "with you?"

Mary nodded sympathetically after a few seconds, realising the trauma the boy could be in, "like I said, she probably thought that it was very romantic."

James groaned heavily and sank down onto a desk, a hand on his head, "I hate eavesdroppers."

"Yes well, you used to be one Potter."

"What?" he exclaimed looking up, "I never..."

"You thought we didn't know the amount of times you were behind the suits of armour or in the broom closets listening?" she countered, grinning at his reddening face, "Half the conversations were staged because of you."

He perked slightly, "so you guys were lying when you said you hated..." but trailed off when she shook her head laughing.

"Oh no she did hate you. But mainly because of the stalking," she explained, "so all those conversations were in hope that you would bugger off."

James rolled his eyes dejectedly, "and being the pillock that I was, I never did."

"Yes," Mary agreed fully, "and that pillock-ness payed off immensely."

"Pillock-ness?"

"Is my English an issue right now?"

James shook his head and backed away slightly, "just...wondering."

"Well don't waste your brain power on that. It appears to be minimal anyway. Focus it on a plan to make Lily confess."

James stood up straight and business-like, "how am I sure you're not tricking me?"

Mary rolled her eyes, "what on earth would I gain from playing this kind of joke on you? It's completely non-sensical. Besides, she remembers what happened last night."

James stopped dead, "she does?"

Mary nodded almost ecstatically, "yeah she told me all about the kiss and the Fugger boff! And she knows that I know that she knows that she meant every word of it...apart from Fugger boff."

After a few calculating moments James frowned, "well if she remembers and meant it, why is she doing all this pretending?"

"Ah!" Mary stated and placed herself on the table carefully again, stretching out the suspense after having reaching the main point, "that's what this is all about."

James was unresponsive.

"Lily has this...thing...that she's had since she was like five," she began explaining, "this thing against hypocrisy. She is so against it that she wrote up a list of rules."

She nodded understandingly at James's raised eyebrow.

"I know…sad! But you're the one who's in love with her so…whatever. Anyway she thinks that by admitting she's in love with you she'll be an even bigger hypocrite than she already has become by getting drunk and telling you all those things."

"That's so..." James started but shook his head and gave up.

"Yeah...my mouth got disconnected from my brain for a while as well," Mary hurried on, "what's important is that we get you two together."

James stared at her for a few minutes and then burst out laughing. The idea was ludicrous and he so forwardly put it.

"Why? You both obviously want to be together," Mary defended, slightly put off by the fact that her plan was being laughed at before she even explained it.

"It's not possible to get me and Lily together because...well…it's just bloody barking mad!"

"What do you mean?" Mary protested, "You haven't found a reason not to believe it."

"Well apart from it being completely impossible…no…"

Mary folded her arms and scowled, "Me and Remus have told you and you still won't believe?"

"Remus said she might."

"And I am confirming it!"

James's shoulders sagged and he shook his head, "do you realise how down right nuts it is? For four years she hates me and then falls in love with me? It's crazy? You'd have to be a right plonker to believe that without proof!"

"You want more proof than I've just given you? Ok!" Mary said, sounding very frustrated, "last Christmas, didn't she accept your invitation to the Christmas ball?"

"We're Heads! We had to go together any…"

"But not for the whole night. She stayed with you the whole night. She's always slightly jumpy around you and this year has been the only year that she's come to every quidditch match so far-even though she's got no reports or duties at the stadium. Sometimes when you're talking she forgets to listen and just looks at you. Both I and Tara have noticed. She gets angry when you flirt with other girls and gives both you and the girl a punishment, saying that you're setting a bad example."

James had nothing to say to that comment, well aware of its truth.

"What more do you want Potter? All we need now is a confession from Lily herself!"

"That would be helpful, yeah," said James rather embarrassedly.

Mary rolled her eyes but smiled, "well all we got to do is get that and get you two together."

James shook his head and smiled, "even if I do believe you, it's still impossible"

"And why?"

"This has been attempted throughout the years Mary by the most competent of people, I and the Marauders," James answered, still laughing, "I doubt you will be able to come up with a plan that we haven't already."

Mary looked at him with a look that could have made Albert Einstein look stupid.

"Competent?" she repeated, sounding excessively bored and unbelieving, "that isn't a word I would associate with you or your little mini-Potters."

James scowled, "they're not mini-Potters! Those are my future kids."

"With Lily," Mary added cheekily and made him scowl.

"That's in the parallel universe where Lily Evans loves James Potter," he said in a bored and slightly annoyed tone, "so excuse me while I go to dinner and leave you to get to grips with that fact. It took me about four or five years myself, so… don't know about you."

He turned to leave, ruffling his hair on the way, clearly not in the best of spirits."What if I told you I had a foolproof plan?"

He stopped at the door at her words for a reason unbeknownst to him and turned.

"I'd ask what the plan is. Then I'd laugh at it and tell you it wouldn't work and then I'd leave."

Mary nodded.

"I have a foolproof plan."

James rolled his eyes and shook his head but Mary cleared her throat expectantly.

"What's the plan then Mary?"

"Come and let me enlighten you

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

James stared across the dinner table at the redhead and shook his head. He was barking mad. He was totally and completely bereft of any common sense or ability to handle simple situations. Turning his head slowly he looked at the pretty brunette, Anna, sitting four places away from Lily and felt his stomach curl.

This plan was not going to work. Lily was not going to care one bit about what he did with Anna – he'd just be wasting his time.

Unbelievable as it was, Mary's plan was incredibly simple – make Lily crazy jealous and make her confess. And yet, he and the marauders had never tried it.

Thinking about it now, he realised he really stupid to agree with it. It was a plan that he should have done in his fifth or sixth year conquests to win Lily, not in his seventh, when he was almost 18. And he knew it would be fruitless. Nothing would be gained from it for obvious reasons – Lily had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever.

And then he'd also be stuck with another replica of his old dim-witted, giggly arm-candy girlfriends.

Yet there was that annoying fly-like thing in his subconscious that was filled with hope that maybe she did. Maybe this time she was in love with him and this silly jealousy act would work and make her fall into his arms – or maybe pull him down into hers like she'd down the previous night.

He felt his stomach churn pleasantly at the events that had incurred due to a drunken Lily. Even though he could smell the alcohol her lips and feel had been just as good as he had expected.

He sighed and then mentally groaned.

He was so whipped!

"Go!" a voice commanded and he scrunched up his face at Mary's command.

"Do it now Potter!" she commanded again and he sighed.

It was now or never.

Putting on his famous playboy smile and ruffling his hair he turned to Anna.

"Anna," he called and accentuated his 'smile' when she turned to him, making a pink tinge appear on her cheeks, "could I have the potatoes please?"

She bit her bottom lip slightly and nodded, "sure."

As she turned away he saw a discreet nod from Mary out of the corner of his eye.

He had the correct audience.

Anna held out the dish of potatoes. Taking a deep mental breath he reached out and placed his hand over hers on the dish quite purposefully.

"And a date to Hogesmade next Saturday?"He felt the hand under his stiffen slightly in surprise but then heard a familiar slightly nervous but very common giggly laugh as Anna nodded.

"I'd love to."

* * *

This. Could. Not. Be. Happening.

There was no way in hell this could happening!

As she stared in absolute infuriated shock Lily realised she wasn't quite sure what this 'this' was – was it the fact that James had just asked another stupid, big-breasted, waste of air girl? Or was it that she was calling her a stupid, big breasted waste of air girl – obviously meaning she was jealous?

She was jealous? No way. She couldn't be jealous.

He smiled his knee-breaking smile at the bimbo and Lily clenched her fork harder and ground it with a start into her plate of food, making a piece of potato fly into Damien's eye.

She was jealous. She couldn't believe it! She felt her stomach rumble with anger as she watched him send the girl a catch phrase and felt like chucking her knife at the brunette as she heard her tinkly air-headed laugh.

She needed help –mental help. She needed to be hospitalized as soon as possible.

Not only was she jealous for unknown reasons. But she was becoming insanely and psychotically murderous.

If she actually lost control and killed the girl – that wasn't such a bad thought – she could be expelled! If she was expelled, not only would her future go down the plug faster than shampoo foam and water, but she wouldn't be Head Girl anymore- she'd have to be replaced. If she wasn't Head Girl anymore and was replaced, that would mean two things: she wouldn't be living with James. And another girl would be living with James and taking her place!

_Oh heavenly crapping Christ! I did not just think that!_

Her fork slowly bent out of shape as she pressed it harder and harder into the plate.

"Lily are you alright?" she heard Mary ask but she ignored it as she saw him take the girl's hand in his gently and continue to converse with her.

What would they be conversing about? She didn't look at all bright.

_Note to self: one doesn't look very bright either when they're bending cutlery out of shape because of a ridiculous jealous anger-management problem that shouldn't even be in existence!_

With as much dignity as she could muster, she placed her knife and rather deformed poor little fork onto the plate and took a deep breath.

Then, hoping her face wasn't red, she pushed out her chair and left the table – trying to walk out of the room as fast as she could without ending up power-walking.

Mary kicked James gently under the table.

Grinning politely to Anna he turned to her.

"She's left," Mary stated, obviously implying that the plan was working. James frowned and shook his head.

"Maybe she finished eating."

Mary scowled, "her plate's full."

James shrugged, "maybe she didn't want anymore."

Mary kicked him harder, making him groan, "do you always have to contradict me? She left the treacle tart. Lily never leaves treacle tart without good reason. And I think she's found one."

James found quite happily, that he could not disagree.

* * *

"Lily!" Mary called through the Gryffindor Common Room for the third time, "I know you're in here. Stop hiding."

Lily groaned and decided to get up from the chair in the secluded corner of the room.

"I'm not hiding," she countered, "I just couldn't hear you."

Mary raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, "why didn't you finish dinner?"

The fake innocence in the girl's tone was unmistakable and Lily scowled.

"It's not what you think," she snapped immediately making Mary grin, "it had nothing to do with James asking out that…that…air-headed…silicon boobed…idiot…cow!"

She did realise how pathetic her stuttering insults sounded but she didn't care. Right now she was saving her pride and dignity.

Mary just laughed.

"Do you smell that?" she taunted, "that very very distinct smell?"

Lily rolled her eyes. Mary always had a habit of just randomly diverging off the current topic. Not that she minded all that much this time.

"What smell?"

"That smell," Mary repeated, not indicating to anything obvious, "that very very very JEALOUS smell!"

So maybe she wasn't diverging.

"I. Am. Not. Jealous," Lily growled through gritted teeth, "and whatever made you think that, or whomever is utterly and completely wrong and stupid and out of their bloody mind completely!"

Mary raised her eyebrow, "so you're the one who's utterly and completely wrong and stupid and out of your bloody mind completely, then?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at her cheeky friend and turned away.

"You know what?" she said as an attempt to finish the conversation, "I don't care what you think. I am not jealous and as long as I know that, that's all that matters."

"So why were you all pissy and why did you leave?" Mary argued.

Lily opened her mouth and closed it again. She'd been had. Narrowing her eyes at the smug look on Mary's face her shoulders sagged.

"Ok so I was jealous," she admitted, "but not because I like him. It's because I'm used to him chasing me and it just seems strange and slightly angering that he's just randomly stopped."

Mary grinned. She was getting somewhere.

"So," she prodded gently, "that implies?"

"That implies that I am extremely sad person who needs to get over herself and either find a boyfriend or get my priorities right," Lily answered firmly, ending the conversation as she stomped to her room, leaving Mary rolling her eyes at the illogical musings of her normally very logical and level-headed friend.

* * *

The following two weeks and a half did not pass well for Lily, at all. It could be clearly seen as she walked through every corridor either fuming or ready to sob her heart out, when she stabbed her food viciously as if trying to re-kill it, and when she dished out detentions randomly, every time she was within a 50m radius of a certain couple – James and Anna. Or as Lily called her- the Half-Brained, Silicon-boobed, Blonde Brunette – HBSBBB.

She had made a mental note that the 'B's in the name could be substituted for other words.

Three Ravenclaw first years had already received the first dose of her many swipes at the Hogwarts population after she had caught a glimpse James's and Anna's hand holding this morning.

She knew she was being silly by taking it out on the innocents instead of killing Anna and snogging James in the first place – but she had more pride than that.

She was not going to let it be known that she was in any way affected by this newly formed romance.

She heard that stupid tinkly annoying laugh again and saw the two banes of her existence come out of a classroom a few metres ahead and continue down the corridor away from her.

She could feel anger boil and rise up to her ears and was sure that smoke was probably puffing out faster than when hippies got high on weed.

A first year dropped his books noisily onto the floor and she whipped around to look at him, her eyes flaming.

"Detention!" she hissed at the terrified cowering little redhead, "and if you ever make that much noise again I'll put Mrs Norris on you!"

He squeaked and dropped another book in fright making her growl in absolute irritation – she was sure her eyes was twitching.

"Lily!" a voice called form behind her and she turned to find her best friend, Mary, looking at her with a look of smugness, pity and disappointment mixed in one.

"What are you doing?" she asked sternly, "leave the poor kid alone."

She smiled gently at the boy who merely squeaked again and ran, leaving Mary and Lily to themselves.

"You're so stupid you know," Mary commented and grabbed Lily by the arm and began dragging her to a place unbeknownst to Lily, "you're just making a fool out of yourself."

Lily rolled her eyes and didn't answer – she wasn't bothered.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked after a few minutes of dragging.

Mary didn't answer, but it soon became apparent that it was in the direction of the grounds and, by her continuous searching in all directions at every junction before continuing, that they were following someone.

"You are incredibly stubborn and stupid," Mary stated as they walked and Lily grunted, "you're taking this thing too far! Why don't you just tell him?"

"Tell him what?" Lily asked sourly, like a surly 16 year old.

"That you're in love with him."

_Because it would go against all my principles. And because he's with someone else._

"Because I'm not in love with him," she answered instead making Mary groan.

"Yes you are. It's so obvious."

Lily didn't answer.

"You throw a fit at the nearest person whenever you see him with Anna. You're avoiding him so much that even Peter's noticed! I mean…you've even made sure that all your Prefect Rounds are so far apart that you'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind to run into each other during a Round!"

Lily actually found that quite an impressive achievement.

"How can you be so sad that you spend so much time and energy to come up with something that full proof?"Or one could look at it that way.

"You're talking a load of bollucks," Lily answered as they pushed the doors open to enter the grounds, "as usual."

Mary rolled her eyes as she pulled Lily harder, "we'll see about that."

They continued walking, well Lily tailing along, passing students and teachers enjoying their break until they came to the lake and Mary stopped suddenly, making Lily stumble.

"What?" Lily grumbled after she found nothing of interest, "why are we here?"

Mary scoffed and spun Lily around to face the direction of two people – a couple.

The girl was standing, enveloped by her boyfriend's arms, with her back to them, leaving the boyfriend's face until his shoulders to be seen.

The minute Lily's eyes landed upon the male's face, all the dots were connected and the furnace was lit.

She had no idea what to do as she watched in furious horror as James tightened his hold around Anna's waist and kissed her deeply.

She felt her entire body heat up with anger as she clenched her jaw.

This could not be happening. She wasn't at all supposed to be this angry, nor was she supposed to want to rip Anna apart and take her place.

James pulled away from Anna and began whispering in her ear, obviously tickling her slightly as she giggled. He grinned slightly and continued until his eyes diverted forward and caught sight of Lily and Mary.

He stopped suddenly and stared at Lily's horror-stricken face for a few seconds before his eyes darted to Mary's and then back.

He gently loosened his grip on Anna and began to pull away, but Lily had already spun around and was heading back to the castle at a once again, phenomenal walking speed.

* * *

The library was empty as Lily entered it, her face in a frown as she felt in between the need to cry, scream and just sit and stare at something and think.

Books let you do all that without making you look one bit stupid.Making her way silently through the shelves and aisles she found a shelf near the window filled with books on historical people – all of whom, Lily noted, had committed suicide in the most intricate of fashions.

How ironic.

She pulled out a book and looked at the cover.

Thinking about it now, she realised she had been acting silly – very silly. And she had been making it obvious.

Pointedly avoiding James and acting like a mental asylum escapee wasn't the best way to handle the situation.

Sighing as she opened the first page she thought back to what she'd just witnessed and cringed. She felt more furious with herself for letting it affect her that way.

She realised now, more than ever that she really was in a strong state of denial.

She could do one of two things :

Find a hollow in the castle and curl up in there until her body decided to decay

Tell James

She didn't like either but the second was scarier than the first at this point.

She sighed and shook her head as she turned the page, a small smile appearing on her lips as she looked at a picture of a naked old man, levitating himself upside down.

She had seriously lost it.

James had looked genuinely satisfied at the lake today. Almost to the point where she would have to admit that he was happy – because of Anna.

And she hated that.

She wanted him to be happy because of her.

She wanted to be the one he was tickling and whispering to.

She wanted to be the one whose hand he held.

And believe it or not, right now, she wouldn't mind all that much being the one who giggled tinkly at his side.

_That's how sad I've become._

She groaned and whacked her forehead with her book.

"Ow…" she moaned softly. That had actually hurt more than she expected and she leaned forward, book still against her forehead, until she came to rest, face-on, on the shelf.

"That looked painful," she heard a voice say and she froze.

_What's he doing here?_

_Maybe I'll just ignore him and he'll go away._

"Lily?"

She gave no answer. He was bound to disappear some time- either by giving up or magically. They were in Hogwarts after all.

"Lily?"

She remained silent.

"Ignoring me isn't going to help, you know," he stated and she groaned rather loudly making him chuckle slightly, "I'll take that as a response."

She sighed and straightened herself up. And, trying to keep the red for her cheeks and the dignity within her she fixed him with a pointed look.

"What do you want Potter?"

He raised his eyebrow at her rudeness but ignored it.

"To know why you sprinted away faster than the snitch five minutes ago?" he answered in a challenging tone, making her defences fall.

She looked at him for a second and into the mischievous look in his eyes, and felt the anger and frustration boil again – among other emotions that weren't supposed to exist.

He was daring her to deny the truth and daring her to tell it. He was amusing himself at her expense!

"I didn't sprint," she retorted, holding her composure the best she could.

"Well then you walk bloody fast," he stated teasingly, the small smile on his face making it impossible for her to think.

"Well maybe I do," she replied feebly and mentally slapped herself for it. He nodded his head slowly, making it perfectly clear as to who was controlling the situation, and stepped forward.

"I didn't ask how fast you walk in the first place," he said, quieter now, making her pulse soar.

_I'm going to die of heart palpitations if he doesn't stop._

"I asked, why," he said in a lower and deeper voice as he took another small step forwards.

She gulped. She couldn't move. Logically, for every forward step he took, she should have taken one back. But her legs seemed to be disconnected form her already dysfunctional brain.

_Bloody brilliant!_

"So why did you?" he asked tauntingly, knowing full well of his effects on her.

She could feel the warmth from his body and could smell the same scent that was the cause of her insanity. His coy smile was making her knees and elbows wobble while his voice and intense eyes were clouding her mind.

She felt like she was drowning.

Clenching her jaw she whipped up the book in her hand as fast as she could, barricading the small distance between his face and hers.

"I came to get this," she said shakily and he raised an eyebrow. Without taking his eyes off her he took the book from her and then read the title.

"The Greatest Wizards' idiosyncrasies," he read out loud, making the title – that she had even read – seem even sillier.

_Why do I always dig a hole for myself?_

"You wanted to get _this_?" he asked, emphasizing the word 'this' and making her want to run and hide.

But she put on her most arrogant of faces and nodded, "Yes. I find it quite interesting," she stated as he began flicking through the book, "I've found it to be quite intriguing in the way they have described these strange things about the greatest Wizards of all time."

He looked at her and then back at the book and then back at her, a patronizing and doubting look on his face.

"Is there a problem Potter?" she snapped, trying to get a hold of the situation.

He shrugged, "well apart from the fact that the book is actually about self-levitation and this is just a random protecting cover…" he grinned at her red and aghast face, "…not really."

She didn't answer, instead, clenched her jaw, folded her arms and turned her red face away.

_Kill me now! Someone!_

He put the book onto the table beside him and took another step towards her and turned her shoulders so she was forced to look at him.

He was so close now that her folded arms were against his chest and she could feel herself trembling.

"Why did you run Lily?" he asked, his hands not letting go of her shoulders as he looked piercingly, straight into her eyes, making her arms go slack.

She couldn't hear, nor feel or even think anything as he kept her in that position making her breath erratic and her pulse sound like a drum roll against her head.

Before her mind had processed anything she had reached up and pressed her lips against his, her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her.

She felt him respond after a while as his hands slid to her waist and pull her right up against him as he began walking backwards.

Her hands were in his hair and his arms were wrapped around her lower and upper back, imprisoning her in his embrace.

She could feel every cell in her body trembling with excitement and she could hear the fireworks going off in her head.

Just when she thought it couldn't get any better there was a huge BANG as James rammed hard into the bookcase, causing a book to come crashing down.

They sprung apart in shock and stared at the book on the floor for a few seconds before turning back to look at each other.

His swollen mouth hung open in shock as he stared her, while her flushed cheeks and heaving chest did nothing to calm her terrified nerves.

She could not believe what she had just done.

She had just grabbed and snogged James Potter in the school library!

_OH MY GOD! I'm so going to be expelled!_

_Note to self: that is NOT the issue right now!_

They both looked as they had run a marathon as James leaned haphazardly against the shelf gasping while Lily stood shock still, unable to breathe.

"Lily?" he asked cautiously as he straightened up, "what…what…was that?"

Her eyes widened in pure fear and she shook her head, "nothing."

He coughed in shock at her answer.

"Nothing?" he choked, "you...you…call that…" he pointed at her and then back at him, "…nothing?"

She backed away fearfully as he stepped up to her.

"That could have blown up the whole of bloody London!" he croaked, still seeming to choke on his shock.

She didn't reply, instead began looking for ways of escape.

"Why did you do that?" he asked, almost urgently, "do…do…" he hesitated then shook his head as if to clear it, "do you have feelings for me?"

She clenched her jaw closed. She would not answer that question.

"Lily," he called again, "do you like me?"

She shook her head rapidly.

"Then what?" he demanded.

_Shut up…don't say it…don't…_

"I'm in love with you!"

The minute she said it, her hand flew to her mouth in horror, trying to prevent the words coming out.

But it was too late – the silence that ensued made that very clear.

She was doomed. She had only one chance.

And before James could even open his mouth to relate his shock she had sprinted out of the library faster than a snitch.

* * *

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe what had just happened.

Not only had she told him that she was in love with him, but she'd grabbed him and snogged so strongly that he'd walked backwards into a shelf!

The unthinkable had happened. All his problems were solved - Lily Evans was in love with him.

Now all his slightly girlish fantasies of their future dates and life and little James Potters weren't all fruitless.

He could hear the trumpets playing and the birds singing.

He was so elated.

"James!" a voice called and he turned, beaming, "what happened?"

He smiled at the approaching Mary and unable to contain himself said, "she's in love with me. She said she's in love with me!"

He didn't care how much he sounded like a five-year old at a toy shop. Lily Evans – the girl he'd been in love with for almost three years now – was in love with him too!

"She did what?" Mary asked, shocked. Her plan had very quick results.

He nodded ecstatically, "she first kissed me and then told me."

Mary's jaw dropped, "are you serious?"He nodded again, "completely!"

Mary smiled at him and then began laughing, "It worked!" she squealed with happiness, "our plan worked!"

James laughed and took her in his arms, "it worked!"

They began chanting the mantra, dancing around each other with joy until Mary abruptly stopped.

"Where is Lily?" she asked, now sounding less joyful.

James stopped as well and looked around him.

That was a good question. Where was Lily?

And then he realised.

Groaning he picked up the book he'd taken from Lily and did exactly what Lily had done with it –banged it on his head rather painfully.

"She ran off didn't she?" Mary said tonelessly. James nodded and banged again.

"And you didn't call her back did you?" she continued. Another nod ensued after another bang on the head.

"So she probably hiding somewhere and crying because you were too dumbstruck to tell her that you're nuts about her too and so now all of this effort has gone to hippogriff dung!" her volume increased. He merely banged his head with the book this time – nods weren't needed.

She growled under her breath and snatched the book out of his hand.

"You idiot!" she hissed and whacked him with it.

"Ow!" he yelped and backed away, "what are you doing?"She narrowed her eyes at him and aimed again.

"Wait wait wait!" he squeaked, "I won't be much use if I'm dead."

"Like you're much use right now!" she retorted and tried to bring the book down but he darted away.

He put his hands up in mock surrender, "look," he said, trying to calm the situation, "why don't you go and find Lily, and I'll go break it off with Anna. Then we'll have two things done and then I can talk to Lily. After that you can hit all you want. I just want to have a chance to break up with Anna and talk to Lily."

Mary hesitated, pondering but did not lower the book.

"Please?" he squeaked and she rolled her eyes and sighed.

"You're such an idiot I swear!" she grumbled and stalked off.

* * *

This is where she was and this is where she would stay. She was, under no circumstances, going to move from this dormitory toilet. She didn't care if everyone died of bladder stones and urine poisoning – she was not moving.

"Lily come on!" Mary called again, "I swear everything's fine! He was too shocked to react is all!"

She didn't answer.

"I promise you he's not going to hurt you!"

She snorted, "yeah!" she retorted, "he's just going to let me down easy because he pities me. You have got another thing coming Mary Anderson if you think I'm even going to stand for that!"

"Well you won't have to!"

"Yes I will," she snapped back through her sniffles. Mary sighed heavily.

"Listen to me Lily," she said calmly, "Trust me when I say you won't!"

"Trust you?" Lily spat back incredulously, "look at what happened to me the last time I trusted you! I opened my mouth and told him like you said and look at me now."

"Firstly," Mary corrected, "you did not do that because of me. You just lost control. Secondly, you aren't in a mess but you will be if you stay in there. He's breaking up with Anna right now!"

"Yeah I believe you," came the surly reply.

Mary growled loudly and banged hard against the doors, "LILY!" she screeched but received only silence.

"Are you two going to be much longer?" came a timid voice of a second year Gryffindor girl, "it's been over half and hour now."

Mary turned to her and fixed her with a stare, "why?" she asked rudely.

"I need the toilet.""It's not like there aren't any other toilets in the whole bloody castle!" Lily yelled crudely across.

Mary nodded, "it's not like there aren't any…" she began repeating but was cut off.

"I heard!" the girl replied back sharply and stalked off muttering about lesbian fights and issues.

Mary turned back to the door.

"The girl thought we were having a lesbian lover's tiff," she reported tonelessly.

"So?" Lily shrugged, "it'd be better than this if we were.""You're not coming out?" Mary asked tiredly.

"No."Mary sighed, "you're stuck on that then?"

"Yes."

"No change of mind?"

"No."

"Even if there's treacle tart?"

There was a slight hesitation.

"Bring me some back."Mary groaned and turned away, "it's your loss Lily."

* * *

It seemed like she'd been in that bathroom for days on end and she was getting increasingly hungry. She was sure everyone had come up by now and gone to bed. It had had to have been hours since Mary left! No one would be in the Great Hall now.

Quite certain of that fact she unlocked the door and crept out of the dormitory, not glancing at the clock that had only moved it's hand thirty minutes since Mary had walked out.

Everything was quiet on her way to the Great Hall, the almost empty Gryffindor Common Room confirming her suspicions on everybody's whereabouts.

But as she approached the large doors she could hear a noise.

_Maybe there are some people in there._

But could 'some' people be making that much noise?

Her heart beat faster and faster the closer she got and the more she came to realise how much of a mistake she had made in judging the time.

By the time she had reached the door she was ready to turn around and run.

"Lily?" came a familiar voice and she stopped dead in her tracks, "you came out finally."

"Well I'm going back Mary," she replied and turned around.

"No you're not!" Mary said and grabbed her arm and turned her around, "you're going to march in there and have dinner."

"What? NO!" she protested and wrenched her had away, "there is no way in…"

"YOU!" came a screech and then both whipped around in fear.

There, before them, looking like death itself with her tear-stained, red and white splotchy face and ruined hair and make up stood Anna, her wand pointed right at Lily's chest.

"Now Anna," Mary treaded cautiously, "you don't want to do anything you'll regret."

She stepped fearfully in front of Lily, "this was James's decision and it's not Lily's fault."

What the hell were they on about?

"What the hell are you two nutters on about?" Lily expressed as she stepped out firmly from behind Mary, "why are you pointing that thing at me Anna?"

"You stole Jamesy!" she said in a quivering voice, full of hatred.

"Who's Jamesy?" Lily asked, completely ignorant of who this person was.

Mary smacked her forehead and kicked Lily, "Jamesy is James," she whispered, "you idiot!"

"James?" Lily said loudly, and scrunched up her nose in disgust, "You call him Jamesy?"

Anna's left eye twitched.

"Well whatever. What the hell are you on about? I didn't steal anything from you," she stated rather rudely, "especially not Potter. I don't nick boyfriends."

"He broke up with me just now because of you!"

Lily stared at the girl in front of her.

He had broken up with Anna? That meant Mary was correct! That meant that he…

But before she could finish her thoughts Anna lost all control and sent a spell soaring at Lily with an almighty BANG!

The last thing Lily saw before her face got covered with mud-coloured sores and she blacked out was Anna's demented eye-twitching face contorting into a manic psychopath-like grin.

_Ew…

* * *

_

"Do you think she'll wake up soon?" Lily heard a tired familiar female voice.

"I don't know," a male voice replied.

"What if she won't wake up?" came another female voice and Lily noted the pregnant pause that followed.

"That's really helpful Tara," came the sarcastic reply, "I mean we all needed that right now."

_Tara? _

"What?" the Tara-voice protested, "Madame Promfrey isn't the best of nurses. What if she diagnosed her wrong and she's actually in limbo, experiencing the pain of nothingness and non-existence?"

"You're watching too many muggle fi-sci movies," came the first voice, sounding rather bored.

_Sci-fi Mary._

"It's sci-fi Mary," Tara retorted, "and no, I'm not."

How she knew it was Mary who had spoken back then, Lily wasn't sure – neither was she sure who this 'she' they were referring to was, or why a tingly feeling as crawling up from her toes and fingers.

_What the hell is going on?_

"At least the icky brown sores have gone," Mary commented, "brown was never Lily's colour."

_They're talking about me._

_I had brown sores? And yes…brown never suites me._

"Yeah," the male voice agreed and Lily felt a sense of panic rush to her mind as she recognised it as James Potter, "she looks much better now…not that she didn't before."

_Aaaaw!_

Mary groaned loudly.

"You're such a sap!" she hissed at James, "she can't hear you! So just admit it – you were completely repulsed by her at that stage and wanted to run as far away as possible."

"Ok fine," James admitted, making Lily squirm mentally with anger and embarrassment, "it was gross. But at least I didn't try to run away. Heck, I was the one who carried her here!"

Another 'aaaw' ensued in Lily's mind.

"You're such a hero," Mary mock gushed, undoubtedly rolling her eyes.

The feeling in Lily's fingertips and toes had reached up to her face and she could feel sheets under her hands and body.

Was she in the hospital wing?

And right on cue the bustling noise of Madame Promfrey could be heard.

"All of you out!" she commanded, "Miss Evans needs rest!"

"But…" Mary protested.

"No buts!" the matron scolded and sounds of scraping chairs and hastily standing up people could be heard, "you too Mr. Potter."

"I'm staying Poppy," he stated simply, "I'm her fellow head and need to make sure she's ok. Dumbledore's orders."

"That's Professor Dumbledore to you Mr. Potter," the matron retorted moodily, "fine! The rest of you have to leave –NOW!"

"Alright alright!" Mary said grudgingly, "tell us what happens Potter. And try not to screw up!"

James remained silent.

Soon all the noises of people disappeared and all was silent as all feeling came back to all parts in her body.

There was no movement around her and she couldn't hear anything but the occasional sniff from the neighbouring ward.

She hoped that whatever that person had wasn't contagious.

Sighing with relief that no one, especially James had stayed she opened her eyes and found herself looking at the ceiling.

She frowned as she saw the same dent in the ceiling as she had the time when she had been in here three years ago because James had cast a love-spell on her that had gone wrong.

She smiled to herself at the thought – if he'd had cast it right it would have saved a lot of trouble now.

"What are you smiling at?" came a voice that made her freeze.

_Oh crap…_

Why hadn't he gone?

In a panicked frenzy she shut her eyes tightly and tried to pretend to have not woken up.

"I know you're awake Lily," he commented, chuckling slightly, "and you're eyes are shut too tight for someone's who's unconscious."

_Damit._

She slowly opened her eyes but didn't turn to him.

"Go away," she said rudely.

He laughed, "why?"

"Because I want you to," she replied, not caring how childish she sounded.

He chuckled again and took her hand gently, "Oh really?" he challenged as he began stroking her arm.

His course yet gentle and warm touch made her shiver and he felt it. He laughed again.

"Do you really?"

She grew livid at his taunts and snatched her hand away, "that's it Potter," she spat viciously, "just rub it in my face. Real mature. Just bugger off!"

He laughed again and shook his head, "don't you mean Fugger Boff?"

She felt her cheeks redden more with embarrassment than with fury, but found that she couldn't answer him back with anything sufficient.

So, feeling extremely bare and uncomfortable she curled up into a ball under the sheet and turned away from him and onto her side.

She didn't want to be anywhere near him.

"Oh Lily!" he called and put a hand on her shoulder, "I was only teasing. Come on."

She ignored him. She felt like she was five again and all she wanted was her teddy and the little light in her room to be left on so that she could go to sleep and dream.

"Lily!" James pleaded again but she didn't answer.

Sighing he stood up, "fine!"

_Good! He's leaving._

But she soon realised how unhappy she was about that fact.

Her shoulders sagged and she closed her eyes, only to have them fly open again as she felt the bed sink from extra weight and felt a warmth next to her.

He'd lain down next to her!

She whipped around in surprise only to land even closer to him so that her head was almost on his shoulder and she was against his side.

"Hello," he said cheerily.

Fearfully she rolled away from him, but remained on the bed – for some unknown reason.

"I'm not ill you know," he joked, stretching out his arms and resting his head on his palms, "I should be worried about you. That jinx that Anna put on you was pretty bloody nasty."

"What. Are. You. Doing?" she hissed at him, trying to control the excitement at the aspect of lying next to him.

He checked around him and shrugged, "lying down."

"On my bed!" she protested.

"Actually Lily," he said calmly as he propped himself up, "this is the school's bed. So…you can't really call it yours just because you're occupying it. And I'm occupying it as well now, so all the more."She closed her eyes in frustration and groaned.

"Just go away Potter," she said angrily but he laughed.

"Why would I want to do that?" he stated, "not only am I in a very comfortable position, "but I'm next to you. So that means I can annoy you."

She opened her eyes and narrowed them at him, "well you're not annoying me," she retorted, "I'm just going to ignore you," she said and turned away from him again – lying at the edge of the bed.

She heard him laugh but ignored him again.

"Try and ignore me then," he said, his voice sounding much closer.

Soon she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder and a warmth by her ear.

"Are you ignoring me now," he whispered into her ear, making her gulp and shiver at the same time.

But she had to stay strong.

She ignored him – no matter how much she wanted to turn around him and kiss him till the moon fell down.

"What about now?" he whispered into her neck, making her close her eyes at the feel of his warm breath on her pulse point.

He chuckled at her defiance and she felt the deep vibrations form his chest against her back.

She was surely going to die right now, of some blood pressure surge.

"Come on Lily," he whispered much closer into her ear, "stop faking."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but they flew open at the sensation of his lips against her neck.

_What is he…_

But her thoughts remained unfinished as he reached her sensitive point and her mind clouded while her body relaxed against him.

He chuckled at her reaction and continued on that same spot making her close her eyes and almost lose complete control.

The soft feel of his lips against her skin mixed with the warm sensation that his breath gave made it impossible for her to resist until she felt a hand wrap around her waist and pull her against him – slowly reaching higher and higher.

In pure panic she leapt off of the bed and ended up on the floor and against the wall, 75cm away form the bed, gasping more from his actions than her rapid movement.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she all but squeaked, trying to cover herself up with her hands, "are you frikkin' insane?"

He laughed, "took you long enough to react. I thought you were just joking back there in the library for a minute."

She scowled at him.

"Lust has nothing to do with Love Potter!" she retorted but immediately turned red when she realised what she had just said.

Groaning she closed her eyes and let herself sag against the wall as his laughter subsided.

"So you lust me too huh?" he taunted as he sat up straight, "god! This day just keeps getting better and better."

She scowled to herself but decided on one fact – he was not going to leave until he got what he wanted.

"Ok Potter," she said calmly, "finish it. Tease and taunt and…whatever to your heart's content!"

He raised his eyebrow at her.

"But once you're done I want you out of here!" she sat herself up straighter and looked him in the eye, "give me your worst."

She prepared herself for whatever was coming by clenching her jaw and taking a deep breath – though she wasn't sure how that was supposed to work.

"I love you."

_Huh?_

Her jaw slackened until she was sure it was going to hit the floor and she sagged once more against the wall.

"Wh…what?"

What the hell did he mean by 'I love you'? That was not teasing at all. What was his game plan?

"What the bloody hell are you on about Potter?" she hissed suspiciously.

He raised his eyebrow and shrugged, "nothing. I love you."

"That's all you're going to say?" she asked after some hesitation, "that's it?"

He nodded and shrugged, "seems almost insignificant after such a long time but I've had the chance, so I said it."

His face remained straight though his eyes held more a seriousness.

She couldn't understand.

"Well…" she found herself at a loss to say.

Those words didn't seem to make any sense even though they sounded perfect next to each other.

A pregnant silent pause followed as she stared at him and him back at her.

"Are you going to say anything?" he asked eventually and she shook her head.

"I don't know what to say."

He chuckled dryly and shrugged again, "you could say the same thing."

She looked at him blankly.

"You've said it before haven't you?" he remarked cheekily, now grinning at her. She narrowed her eyes at him and then huffed.

Didn't he realise that he'd just destroyed the makings of a perfect moment. What was wrong with the boy?

"Just go away," she said grumpily.

He laughed, "Oh come on!" he said rolling his eyes, "the least you could do was say something to what I just said. It bloody takes a lot out of a guy to say something like that. And then you go all moody and leave me hanging. It took a lot of effort you know."

She scoffed, "only if it's true," she retorted and immediately regretted it as a flash of disappointment and hurt flashed across his face for a second.

She wasn't sure why she had said that – she desperately wanted it to be true.

"You don't think I was being truthful?"

"No."

She had to stand her ground through.

"Why?" he protested, "you think I broke up with Anna for no reason?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "

"She's a tart. It'd have been stupid to stay with her anyway, with her breasts taking all the blood away from her brain. And you're so bloody casual about it," she stated, "you can't possibly serious."

He didn't answer for a while, instead just looked at her.

She turned her head away to avoid the awkwardness.

Maybe he was being truthful. She hoped he was. She was dying with the need for him to be. But she wouldn't acknowledge it. She was not going to need anything from James Potter.

"Need a hand?" his voice softly sounded from above her and she looked up to find his hand outstretched.

…Apart from a hand to help her up.

She looked him in the eye steadily before accepting and saw no sign of hurt or anger or any sense of distress at all.

Hesitantly she put her hand in his and prepared to be lifted up to a standing position.

What she didn't expect was to go flying – due to the force of his pull – straight at him.

He caught her against him and made her look at him.

"I'm not lying," he said sincerely, letting go of her hand as their noses came to be inches apart.

She couldn't see anything beyond his eyes and couldn't think beyond what was in them.

"Ok," she said simply, unable to think of anything to say.

He smiled at her and continued to look at her and Lily felt herself squirm with the need to kiss him as he took her hand again and interlocked their fingers.

So she did the most logical thing.

She started talking…about the most random thing she could think of.

"Do you think that the new attempt of the Wizard and Magical species safety's new idea of keeping giant's captive is a little extreme?"

"Wha…" James pulled away sharply at the rather drastic change in subject.

Lily steamed on, concentrating on anything but the person in front of her.

"It's totally inappropriate," she continued, having absolutely no clue as to what she was doing, "I mean, they're creatures and have lives that need to be respected. And caging them is going to make them more dangerous and hostile."

"Lily," James called warily and slightly cautiously, taking her other hand and looking at her in a strange way, "what are you…"

"So I think they should find a more plausible solution to it," she continued, her speed increasing as she felt the heat travel up her arms, "one that would guarantee good and healthy lives for both sides of the…"

Her sentence was however, cut short as her mouth found another activity besides speaking speedily, as it got overtaken by the sensation of James's lips pressed against hers and his arms around her waist tightly and slightly reprimanding.

She was going to consider doing wrong things more often.

Her hands slid to his forearms as his right arm wrapped around her upper back and pulled her closer.

When air became a slightly important factor they pulled away and Lily looked at him through a dazed and dreamy haze, putting a finger to her pulsing lips.

He raised a critical eyebrow at her and she felt the red rise in her cheeks.

"Was that it?" he asked, "the reason for the sudden belief that I'd be interested in caged giants?"

She opened her mouth to deny but he continued to stare pointedly at her and she gave up.

"Pretty much," she said feebly and looked away. He chuckled and kissed the side of her head affectionately.

"Next time," he whispered into her ear, "I think you should choose a snogging session instead of magical species integration."

She laughed and sighed softly as he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"You like complicating things don't you?" he asked after a few moments of peaceful silence.

She felt her cheeks redden as she remembered her promise to Mary.

"I mean all this fuss because of a silly hypocrisy rule thing," he continued and she froze.

He knew?

She felt her temper start to form.

He knew.

She pulled away and looked at him pointedly, disentangling herself rather reluctantly from his grip, "you knew?"

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "yeah."

"How?" she asked rather slowly, trying to keep her temper at bay.

If he mentioned that name she would murder the Andersons.

"Mary told me," he stated casually, "she explained it to me when we were planning how to…"

And then he stopped.

This would have to be the second time in one day that his mouth had forgotten to refer to his brain before carrying out an action.

"…surprise…you…" he stammered under her now very intimidating and sharp gaze, "…for the…the thing…that we are planning to…surprise you…for."

She folded and unfolded her arms as she bit the inside of her cheek and then clenched her jaw in order to keep her now rumbling anger contained.

"Could this…thing…you were planning," she begun, still slow making him gulp, "have anything to do with the occurrences of today Potter?"

He shook his head furtively, but stopped under her glare.

"You planned this out with Mary didn't you?" she asked, her volume now rising slightly, "this whole thing was a just a setup. Wasn't it?"

He looked at her before hanging his head and nodding guiltily.

"So," she continued, laughing dryly, her volume still rising, "I just humiliated myself completely over the last couple of days by acting like a total retard, trying to pretend that I wasn't jealous and then I get cursed to oblivion by your…your…pawn in this stupid immature game who just happens to be a psychotic James Potter bloody stalker!"

He cowered slightly and ran his hand through his hair, "yeah about that," he stated rather nervously, "we really didn't think she'd be that crazy. We had no idea she was a psycho. If we knew we wouldn't have chosen her."

She gasped, outraged and smacked him, "that's your defence? That you wouldn't have chosen a psycho if you knew they were a psycho?"

"Ow!" he exclaimed in pain, "what…"

"I'll tell you what Potter," she spat and rounded up on him, "you just ruined almost a month of my life with this stupid game of yours when you could have just sorted it out in the beginning!"

She aimed to smack him again but he ducked, "what do you mean? When in the beginning? That night after Mary's party?"

She looked at him incredulously, "YES!" she practically spelt out, "I bloody said it all that night. And you just ignored it and didn't even acknowledge it."

"Oh yeah totally Lily," he remarked sarcastically, "you were drunk, just to remind you, and you said Fugger Boff for heaven's sake! I wasn't exactly going to get my hopes up on that. So don't be so harsh."

She whacked him again, but softer, letting him catch her hand, "Don't tell me not to be harsh Potter. You had plenty of other opportunities. This would never have happened if you'd actually connected your mind to the rest of your body and stopped me scampering away in the library, for example," Lily countered, "so I blame you completely and I will be harsh on you."

"Hey!" James protested loudly, pulling him to her by her hand, "I was shocked ok. It's not every day the love of your life, who's been rejecting you for four years, turns round and says that she's in love with you too!"

She opened her mouth to retort but thought better of it.

"And all because of a bloody hypocrite rule obsession," James teased as he pulled her towards him, "you really need to learn to lighten up and break the rules once in a while."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "I do know how to break the rules Mr. I-the-hottest-rebel. I'm here aren't I?"

"I agree with the 'hottest' part," he replied cheekily, laughing at her eye roll and pulled her against him, "and yes, you're here. But that's because my loony ex-girlfriend tried to kill becuase I told her I still was a pansy for you."

She laughed softly but shook her head, "but I'm still here. I could have told you to...Fugger Boff...by now."

He laughed at her choice of vocabulary, "True. Do you want me to Fugger Boff?"

She looked at him and then pretended to ponder it but then shook her head, "no. Breaking the rules this way is fun."

He chuckled and pulled her closer, "I shall humour you then."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and before she could even form an expression to his comment he swooped down and secured his lips against her own, making her inhale sharply and then exhale almost dreamily.

"And there goes another one," he said softly, grinning at her one-sided and slightly bashful smile.

He bent down and kissed her again, "and another," he said when he pulled away, "how many are there?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

He raised his eyebrow.

She grinned cheekily and she leaned up and pecked his lower lip, "but I know there's loads. So we have to be sure."

He laughed loudly before taking over her lips while occupying a few other senses.

And Lily found as she drifted along with him and lost count of his kisses that it didn't matter or not whether the rules were broken anyway, they didn't matter anyway – she'd ripped them up after she'd run from the library.


End file.
